Sleep Don't Weep
by Read Me And Weep
Summary: Sleeping is giving in, and everytime she closes her eyes, its lies. People say that without sleep you'll die faster than without water. Will it ever be alright?


A/N: Loosely (very very loosely) based on the song, Rebellion (Lies) by The Arcade Fire

Hermione was so tired. Instead of turning into the promising Ministry official everyone had thought she'd become,she coasted by on autopilot, doing only what was asked of her. And no matter that what she did was not particularly exhausting, or that she went to bed early and slept in late. She could barely keep her eyes open.

* * *

A year after the defeat of Voldemort, a party was held in honor of Harry Potter, his two best friends, and the Order of the Pheonix to celebrate all that they had done and remember those that had died in the effort. Really it was just an excuse for merriment in the summer among people who had lost much, but had finally unburdened themselves of such worry that a little joy was all they could think of. Hermione didn't feel the same way, but as one of the guests of honor, she was required to be a presence there.

She dressed herself, applied a quick spell to her face and hair and left the house without looking at her reflection. She didn't keep mirrors in her flat anymore, anyways.

Upon arrival, all Hermione could do was plaster a smile on her face. She greeted everyone at least once, shook hands, exchanged pleasantries, and finally sat for the meal. She glanced around and saw Harry with Ginny chatting and smiling at a large table meant to appease all those that wanted to see the Boy-Grown-Man-Wonder. Hermione saw Ginny and Harry's hands held underneath the table. Looking down the other end of the room she saw Ron at a slightly smaller table with his arm around Lavender. He was laughing uproariously at something and his eyes sparkled. So did Lavender's. Hermione had heard she was pregnant.

After she had tried to do her part by entertaining those at her table, the tables were vanished and the floor was cleared for dancing. Although she'd had plenty to drink during dinner trying to keep up her awake and happy facade, Hermione headed straight to the bar and ordered straight bourbon. The wizard quirked his eyebrow at her but after she finished the glass in one gulp and slammed it down indicating she wanted another, he put his head down and poured.

She sauntered away, sipping on her drink, to find a dark corner to hide from. She was tired of talking to people about something that had happened a year ago. Something she was trying to distance herself from. She should have been paying more attention to her surroundings though, because her lack of focus allowed Mrs. Weasley to catch her.

"Hermione, poppet!" She roared in delight. Hermione had the slight inclination that Mrs. Weasley might be a bit tipsy.

"It's been so long since you've been around to the burrow, darling. Where have you been? The boys say you're ignoring their owls?" Just as quickly as Mrs. Weasley had been delighted to find Hermione, she was quickly turning to tears. Yes, she was definitely sloshed. Hermione had a brief thought to tell her the truth, she probably wouldn't remember anyways, but she wanted to quickly rid herself of the matronly woman's presence. It was becoming hard to deal with.

"Just busy, Mrs. Weasley, I'll be by soon!" She called over her shoulder as she sped away from the almost blubbering woman.

Only to smack right into Harry.

"Hermione," he breathed as though the wind had been knocked out of him.

"Hullo, Harry." She mumbled at him, trying to look anywhere but his eyes.

"You've been ignoring my..." She flashed her eyes dangerously at him.

He stopped at that, then started again, "Look, when will you come visit? Ginny's dying to see you. And the baby, you haven't even met him yet."

Hermione had been prepared to freeze him out, be completely rude to him and run away. But the soft pleading tone in his voice caught her off guard. Harry never pled. She lightly touched his arm.

"Soon, Harry. Alright? Soon." She gave his arm a squeeze and walked off, trying to ignore the hopeful, but very doubtful, look on Harry's face.

She saw Ron had seen the exchange, and that he was also trying to try to make his way over to her, and realizing it was unsafe she quickly dodged behind a group of chattering old woman to get to the wall and walked across the room, hiding behind the dancing couples to the balcony. She quickly exited the crowded room and took a deep breath of air before hurrying around the corner for some privacy. She threw her back against the wall and slid down the side until her bum was on the ground and she sighed again as she tilted her head back and took a large sip from her glass. She only opened her eyes when she heard a deep cough in front of her.

Startled, she looked up.

"Granger, this is my spot."

"Malfoy," she nodded at him, but didn't move. She was too tired. "Do you mind?"

His eyes narrowed at her lack of hostility. He didn't say anything, but he didn't walk away either.

She noticed his hesitation but ignored it. It wasn't her problem. He could do with her relative kindness as he pleased. At least she didn't have to pretend to be happy to see him. She could just sit and try not to fall asleep.

"Are you alright, Granger?"

Without opening her eyes, "I'm fine, just tired."

He observed her for a moment before continuing. "You look like you haven't slept in days."

She barked out a laugh. "Don't you know all I do is sleep?"

She opened her eyes then, surprised at her own honesty. What was she doing, telling Draco Malfoy her habits. She didn't talk to anyone anymore, let alone a Malfoy.

He just stood calmly, sizing her up. She began to feel a little uncomfortable underneath his gaze.

"What are you doing here, Malfoy?"

"You don't know? When people found out that I'd helped Snape lie to the Dark Lord once or twice during the war, they thought I was a bloody war hero. I'm a guest of honor at this damn thing." He shook his head in disgust and amazement.

Hermione, of course, hadn't known any of that. She didn't pay much attention to the Prophet or the guest list. But she didn't want to to admit that.

"I meant what are you doing outside in a dark cove?"

He eyed her.

"Granger, they think I'm a war hero." The way he emphasized 'war hero' almost made Hermione laugh. Almost.

"Right."

"What are you doing outside in a dark cove? You're a real war hero. And all your friends are inside." Though he sneered at all the right moments, Hermione had a sinking feeling he knew she didn't really have friends anymore. Rather than being caught in a lie, she told the truth.

"I don't have any friends in there."

Malfoy's eyes snapped to hers sharply. Ah, she mused. He hadn't been expecting her honesty, but he had known.

"And I suspect you knew that."

He wouldn't hold her gaze until he finally answered her challenge.

"What happened to you anyways?"

She laughed bitterly.

"What didn't happened to me? I was tortured in the war, during the end of which Ron and I had a short fling that ultimately ended and shattered our friendship, I found out I'm terrible at magic because my parents, the ones I thought I'd hidden so well...Had been found and tortured and killed. And now I can't stand being around people."

The softness in Malfoy's voice surprised her when he said, "I'm sorry, Granger. I didn't know about your parents."

She laughed harshly again.

"Yea, the Prophet had a lot more interesting things to report than a Mudblood's parents being murdered."

He flinched slightly at that, but tried to recover.

"Don't be like that. I don't read the papers anyways, it could have been-"

"It wasn't," She cut in sharply. She knew, she'd checked.

"I'm sorry,"

"Don't. Don't apologize. I'm so sick of apologies. If people just did what they were supposed to do, there would be no need. If I could have been the genius everyone thought I was, my parents would be alive and no one would feel sorry. If my friends had been there when I needed them, they wouldn't be apologizing now. And if you were the bastard you're supposed to be, I wouldn't have to hear another insincere apology."

She was so tired. It was like the truth was flowing out of her and she couldn't stop it. Her heart needed a confidant and Malfoy was there at the wrong place and time, enduring it.

She giggled hysterically until she was crying with laughter.

"Granger..." Malfoy started, unsure.

"It's just," she spat between laughs and deep inhaling breaths, "I'm telling you...everything! And now I'm...now I'm sorry! Isn't that funny? I'm SORRY!" And with that she was practically writhing on the ground laughing.

Draco Malfoy just stood over her looking down.

"You've gone completely loony, Granger. What the hell happened to you? You used to be tough shit."

She sobered immediately.

"I'm still tough shit, Malfoy."

It was his turn to bark out a laugh.

"Look at you! You're having mood swings a mile wide. You're hysterical. Are you sure you've been sleeping?"

Her eye lids were drooping dangerously and she felt like a fog was surrounding her. It was so late, she'd lost track of time. She'd only meant to take a few cleansing breaths outside and finish her drink before apparating home and passing out.

"Malfoy?" She asked, eyes closing.

"Granger?" He replied, worry and uncertainty plaguing his voice.

"Do me a favor? Don't let everyone..see..me..."

And then she was gone. Completely knocked out. With Malfoy standing over her.

"Bullox," he mutter before picking her up and apparating to his flat.

* * *

When she woke up she tried to move but found she couldn't. She was tied up.

"What the fuck..." She mumbled to herself trying to take stock of the situation. She blinked her blurry eyes and pulled her head up. Her hands were tied with scarves to the bedposts, and her feet were tied together with scarves and then tied to the foot of the bed. She was still wearing her dress, she noted, which was a good sign as she'd begun to think this was some sort of sexual kidnapping. But then her mind kicked into overdrive. It could be something much worse. A loose Death Eater out for revenge? She struggled harder against the bindings. Where was her wand?

Then she heard a grunt from the corner of the room. Her head whipped in the direction of the sound and she saw that Draco Malfoy was sitting in an arm chair in the corner of the room, waking up from what appeared to be a very uncomfortable night for him.

"Malfoy!" She yelled and his head snapped up. His blond hair was tousled from sleep and he had dark circles under his red rimmed eyes. He looked terrible, but at the same time Hermione had never thought he looked better.

"What is the meaning of this?"

He eyed her cautiously.

"Are you up now, then?"

"Obviously, I'm up, Malfoy, I'm speaking to you aren't I? Now untie me!" She spluttered at him, straining against her restraints.

He seamed appeased by the response and untied her. She jumped from the bed and demanded the location of her wand. He pulled it from his pocket and handed it to her. She held it out in defense and he...did he flinch at the sight?

She opened her mouth to yell at him and demand an explanation, but he spoke before she could.

"Hermione, I know why you're so tired."

The use of her first name caught her unguarded, and she spluttered as she choked on the admonishment she had been about to throw at him.

"I, well, what?"

"You sleepwalk. And talk. And spell. And fight. And...a lot of things."

"I-what? No!"

"Oh, yes, you do. And I'll probably have the bruises to prove it!" He snapped at her.

She sank back down onto the bed. Realization hit her like a ton of bricks. All those things around her place that seemed different when she woke up, and the fact that though she cleaned her flat it always seemed to be a wreck. She always chalked it up to her exhaustion, she didn't notice things the same she'd always told herself.

She gazed up at him, her eyes full of tears. She was just leaking vulnerability and she knew it. But what could she do? She'd probably done much in front of him that she would never normally.

"You passed out at the banquet, I don't know if you remember. You said you didn't want to be seen. I assumed you didn't want to be seen smelling like alcohol passed out on the balcony so I apparated you to my flat and laid you down. I went into the other room to change and all of the sudden I heard noises. You hadn't even been asleep for half an hour. You were thrashing around and crying out and then you were quiet so I left you again. I walked into the kitchen and you were pacing in there." He looked at her a little annoyed. "You scared the shit out of me. Then I thought you must have woken up and were just confused, but you didn't seem to notice or hear me. When you did notice me, you didn't really see me. I don't know who I was to you. You flew at me like a bat out of hell. Beating every inch of me you could get," at this, he rubbed his chest, "and then you were crying on me." He looked uncomfortable to be retelling that part. Uncomfortable that it had happened. "Then you were back to beating me, but then you drew your wand on me. You had this look on your face, like..." he looked down, away from her.

"Like what, Draco?" She asked softly.

He quickly looked back up at her at the use of his name.

"Like you could have done anything to me."

The way he said anything sounded ominous.

"Luckily then you went back to the sobbing and I took your wand from you. Then you went back to not seeing me. You were fighting invisible foes and trying to run away from something. You came close to hurting yourself a lot, that's why I tied you up."

Oh, so she wasn't unnaturally and mysteriously clumsy. She'd been hurting herself sleepwalking. Wonderful.

"Look, Granger, you need some serious help..."

She looked up sharply at him.

"Thanks for your help, Malfoy, I'll be going now." She said as she abruptly got up from the bed and marched to the door.

"Granger, wait. You could seriously hurt yourself-"

"I'll be fine!" She called shrilly to him without looking back.

She slammed the door and apparated home before flinging herself into bed, a sobbing mess.

* * *

She didn't see him for weeks. Immediately after the meeting she started taking a Dreamless Draught, that seemed to only make her "sleep", if you could call what happened to her sleep, more. She then tried to not sleep at all. Tried spelling herself awake for long periods of time, she was so terrified of shutting her eyes. That didn't work though, she only crashed harder. She was determined to deal with this herself. She didn't know how to go about getting help for sleepwalking anyways. And she didn't want anyone prying into her life.

Eventually though, something was bound to happen.

She woke at 3 in the morning, not in her bed, but on the roof of her building, covered in glass and blood. She had smashed through the window and scaled the dangerous few feet between her top floor suite and the roof. She'd fallen on the gravel of the roof, tripped over a pipe. That must have been what woke her. She raced to the door but it was locked, she hadn't come up that way. She sank to her knees sobbing. She felt so alone. So desperate.

She apparated to Draco's and knocked on the door. A few minutes later a groggy and shirtless Draco Malfoy opened the door looking disgruntled, until he took the image of a broken Hermione in.

She stared up at him, tear tracks down her face, her nightclothes tattered and exposing her broken and cut skin.

He stepped aside and let her in.

They were silent as he helped her undress and filled the bath for her. He turned to leave and give her some semblance of privacy but she clasped his hand, afraid she would fall under the curse that was sleep again, and he stayed, holding her hand and stroking it comfortingly as she soaked herself in the warm, fragrant water.

She got out and he laid her down on his bed covering her with a towel. He sat slowly cleaning out the gravel and glass from her wounds as her hand tightly grasped his lower thigh in pain. She bit her lip but the tears fell anyways. They hadn't ever really stopped. Whether it was because of the pain or distress was unclear.

Eventually, his clinical touches turned to soft sensual ones and her gasps of pain turned to gasps of pleasure. The towel slipped from her body and his pants slipped from his.

* * *

She woke up feeling refreshed for the first time in ages. She was surrounded by warmth and she nuzzled deeper into before starting slightly as she realized it was a warm body. She opened her eyes and looked up. Draco was laying on his side, propped up on his elbow, looking down at her.

"Sleep well?" He asked, a tiny smile on his face.

She blinked a few times before realizing she felt like she had slept well.

"Did I?" she asked him.

His smile got a little bigger.

"You did." He responded.

She smiled back and sighed in relief. She leaned into him and closed her eyes peacefully and willingly for the first time in ages and he wrapped his arms around her.


End file.
